Something I don’t see talked about a ton in the chronic pain community is how physical pain stresses out the body and mind. It’s harder to think when in pain (brain fog), and because your body is under a lot of stress, it can lower the threshold for other stressors.
I know that if I’m in pain, I can’t handle as much stimulation or mental/emotional stress. It’s a lot easier for me to break down crying on my high pain days—not just bc I’m in pain but because it’s harder for me to process things emotionally while my body is under stress from pain. For the same reason, it can be difficult to think as quickly or clearly. I can even have a hard time speaking.
I feel a lot of pressure from society to push through the pain. To keep going despite how hard it is to think or to process the world or my feelings while I’m in pain. Today, when I was in lots of pain, my friend told me to relax, to take it easy. And it was really, really hard. I needed so much reassurance that I didn’t need to keep pushing. That everything would still be okay if I stopped treading water and just floated instead.
I’m not totally sure what my point here is, if there is any. But I think we need to be especially kind to ourselves on high pain days. And we need to let ourselves know when it’s time to rest, even if it’s the last thing we want to do.
“If someone said to me again: ‘Supposing you were to die tomorrow, what would you do?’ I wouldn’t need any time to reply. If I felt drowsy, I would sleep. If I was thirsty, I would drink. If I was writing, I might like what I was writing and ignore the question. If I was having lunch, I would add a little mustard and pepper to the slice of grilled meat. If I was shaving, I might cut my earlobe. If I was kissing my girlfriend, I would devour her lips as if they were figs. If I was reading, I would skip a few pages. If I was peeling an onion, I would shed a few tears. If I was walking, I would continue walking at a slower pace. If I existed, as I do now, then I wouldn’t think about not existing. If I didn’t exist, then the question wouldn’t bother me. If I was listening to Mozart, I would already be close to the realms of the angels. If I was sleeping, I would carry on sleeping and dream blissfully of gardenias. If I was laughing, I would cut my laughter by half out of respect for the information. What else could I do, even if I was braver than an idiot and stronger than Hercules?”
I know it was likely for legal reasons but the media doing an oxygen countdown when experts have been 99% on implosion at the time of contact loss the whole time felt like a way to milk engagement across platforms by exploiting civilian hope and addiction to online altercations.
And then uninformed people believing there was still a chance they were alive sharing their imagined dark scenarios of being stuck freezing/suffocating/cannibalizing in a bolted death trap like it’s some kind of TV show we’re sharing spec-fic of.
The currents down there can move things at 100 feet a min. The other pieces are probably far, far away and finding remains would amount to searching for bone shrapnel among all other organic matter. It’s all dust in the ocean’s wind.
People were misled for days, for clicks. It is easier to put a man on the moon than to do any type of “rescue” at that depth.
There was never any rescue, only recovery.
Eat the rich, but also the media.
The death countdown was eerie. Even if it hadn’t been a lie. That’s Hunger Games level selling misery to people, and it was real.
(I know I’ve said this before, but that’s why unlike most people I liked the HG movie as well as the book. The movie made it easy to imagine exactly what it would be like for me to be glued to my television waiting for the losing teams to die… and that was exactly the feeling I had seeing real death countdowns in real chyrons. They got it in one. The Capitol is us.)
30, English lit major, part time receptionist, full time spoonie. Loves: family, friends, cats, reading, writing, baking, tv, movies, & anything that makes me laugh. IBD - Ulcerative Colitis ×4 Surgeries. Interstitial Cystitis. Social Anxiety Disorder.